Choosing A Great Assisted Living Center

Going To See Someone Who's Forgotten You: How An Alzheimer's Resident Still Benefits From Your Visits

14 October 2019 by Amanda Palmer

Stopping by to see someone in a memory care facility who may not even know who you are may feel pointless, at times, but these visits can actually be very beneficial. As hard as it is to be "forgotten," it's not pointless to continue to pursue the relationship, whether they're your parent, grandparent, other relative or just a dear friend.

How These Visits Help Someone With Alzheimer's

Although it may seem as if your presence doesn't have a major impact on someone with a failing memory, you really do matter in a number of ways:

• The social aspects of the visit can have positive mental and physical health benefits.
• You being there might evoke a positive emotional state (even if there's no specific memory attached the emotion) that otherwise wouldn't happen.
• Just because you're not remembered by a name or relationship doesn't mean they don't know you're there.
• You may be recognized in some way that's not obvious to you upon entering the room.

Especially if the person you're going to visit doesn't have a lot to do, many visitors, or the ability to walk around independently, having you stop by could be a major highlight in their day, whether they can tell you that or not.

How You Benefit

You're likely worried about your loved one, whether you go a while without seeing them or they just happen to be on your mind a lot. Because memory loss is such a painful experience for everyone involved, you might even feel inclined to avoid the person, but that will just leave you feeling guilty. Visiting them brings you peace of mind and lets you know you're doing what you can for them. It also offers you the chance to talk, whether or not you're understood, about what's going on in your life, how much you miss them, or other important things on your mind. 

Additionally, you have the opportunity to see if they're in need of anything, such as warmer sweaters, new socks, or a cheerful picture on their bed table. Doing little things like that goes a long way for both of you.

Things To Keep In Mind When You Go To The Facility

It may be a good idea to phone ahead, particularly if you haven't visited in a while, to get an update on how things are going. Memory loss can be sporadic, but it can also happen quickly, at times. While you can bring someone along with you, make sure the visit isn't so stimulating that it becomes overwhelming. If there's a radio or other background noise on when you arrive, shut it off, so the focus is on the people in the room. Remember that touch, too, can be as helpful as any conversation, especially when you're not sure if your words are understood. The simple act of holding hands is quiet and peaceful and provides many health benefits, as well. Talk to staff at the memory care facility about how your loved one is doing, what they may need, how you can help, and anything else relevant to the person you care so much about.

A failing or failed memory is one of the most difficult situations to face with a loved one; however, that doesn't mean there's no point in going to see them. On the contrary, as hard as it is, there are many ways both you and the loved one with Alzheimer's or dementia benefit, including the joy that just being around them brings to your heart. 

For more information, contact a memory care facility.

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